dell batteries exploding

how many people here actually put your laptops ON your LAP?

isnt the radiation or heat dangerous or even able to cause skin damage, tumors, something? and forget it, if youve got a dell, that battery might explode in your lap and send liquid hot battery acid tearing through your thighs and genitals, ouch?
its funny because on commercials they will always show a woman with a laptop in her lap and i guess thats better than having a man do it because there were studies that the radiation lowers your sperm count, but im wondering then if it has no effect on women,

Happened to my cousin Bubba. His last boy had seven toes on one foot instead of the usual 6. He never did get on the net, and the battery went dead or he may have had a keeper for sure.